I don’t know why I’m so sad today. All I can do is cry, about everything. I wrote a letter for Kyle to keep with him while he’s gone. Then I started thinking about his friend from work, and how she’s always texting him, and how he had to give his ex a ride home today because her car broke, and how I know he’s going to make new friends, some female, at his new job, I just became overwhelmed with so much jealousy. I’m not a jealous person, I trust him. I guess it’s stress, because I started bawling my eyes out. My heart feels so heavy, and so sad. Yet I have no reason to be. Then out of nowhere I’ll feel better, like the sadness floated away.
I don’t know what this is. Part of me knows it’s probably just PMS, the other part hopes that it’s pregnancy symptoms(to clarify, we started “trying:” yesterday, but the past month we haven’t used birth control). I hate dealing with not knowing. I want so baldy for my feeling to be because of a baby, but I refuse to let myself think it is, I don’t want to be sad when it’s not.